late night cuddles with my boyfriend <3

This is my first summer without going through my anorexia. I thought I’d be okay and strong enough to get through it all. It had been so easy through this year. Just to stay a normal weight. Now I feel a heavy load on me. I’m so anxious and scared to even get on the scales and see the numbers that will come up. I really am afraid.
All I wanted was just to be normal and eat. And that’s what I have been doing. Except binging on KFC and McDonald’s day after day.
I can see the cellulite taking over my legs. And the love handles forming. My gap is getting less and less…
I really wish I could stop time. Just stop time and be the only person for a few months. Just so I can do this. Without anyone telling me I’m fine the way I am. I honestly am finding this really hard. I just want to go back to the skin and bones :(